Goodbye blogspot

I'm moving to wordpress! Find me at yazzercise.wordpress.com. My musings, haikus and rants will continue on (what I found to be) a more innovative and user friendly system.
So long, blog spot! it's been a great 2 years.

Begin again

Being back, seeing the freshmen's brand new faces, seeing the green quad and new Val and beautiful New England night skies is absolutely amazing. Everything feels familiar now (despite the drastic changes to our dining hall). I no longer wear my lanyard on my neck, I don't need to write down my mail combination, and I know where my classes will be this semester. With a year of college under my belt (1 year! 1/4 of my time here is over! What!) I feel much more prepared to take on this year.
My new dorm will take getting used to, it's the Spanish and French house and there are some TAs from both countries. I have to get over my language fear of messing up and just talk, but after being in frikkin' China for 2 months my French skills have diminished drastically (although everytime I couldn't think of a Chinese word, the French word would pop in my head. Language works in funny ways).
I got a letter from myself today from last year's FOOT (First-year Outdoor Orientation Trip) and I was kinda disappointed by it's boring qualities. It was written on my leg in a campsite in bad handwriting, and it just said "I hope you become friends with the other FOOties...I hope you enjoyed all your classes...Be nerdy and don't spend all your money...I hope you aren't making stupid decisions."
I thought that was funny, because I did make stupid decisions. I made lots of them. Note, nothing ridiculously unintelligent, just the regular freshman awkward decision making. If I hadn't made these awkward, bad, stupid decisions, I would have learned nothing from this past year. Sometimes you have to mess up to learn more about yourself and who you are...who you want to be.
So basically this is my sappy, nostalgic (already, what?) take on the beginning of sophomore year. What what what

Missing Zhongguo...

"After two sessions with Mr. Xi, Mr. Biden went with his granddaughter Naomi and the new United States ambassador, Gary Locke, to a small restaurant north of Tiananmen Square that specializes in bowls of intestine for breakfast. The restaurant, tucked away behind the ancient building known as the Drum Tower, was crowded with Chinese patrons at lunchtime, many eating small pork buns and stir-fried vegetables. One yelled out “Beijing welcomes you!” in Mandarin Chinese and others shook hands with the vice president. A woman spoke to him about her relatives living in Minnesota."

I was reading this article, "Cooperation Is Emphasized as Biden Opens Talks in China" on the NYTimes website (link below). It describes Biden's talks with China's vice president and probably soon to be president, Xi Jinping. The two discussed various matters concerning America and China...economy, exports, Taiwan, and Tibet.
This little description about the food made me laugh to myself. Those "small pork buns" are bao zi and those fried vegetables are chao shucai. I love the bit about intestines for breakfast...gotta shock that American audience right? And even better, "Beijing Welcomes You." I only recently learned that the Olympic Game characters of 2008 are named Beibei, Jingjing, Huanhuan, Yingying and Nini. Together, Beijing huanying ni or "Beijing welcomes you."
I love the details about the Chinese people shaking Biden's hand and conversating with him-I half wonder if they knew who he was, or if it was just the lao wai-ness that made them curious.
The little things I've learned over two months come together to form this new, wonderful image of China (and Asia) that I could never get from just reading the NYTimes.
So I'm so grateful for this experience.




http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/19/world/asia/19china.html?_r=1&ref=world

Walking through Detroit airport was one of the strangest experiences of my life. Well, first I had to retrive my camera from the plan which required going to three different desks and finally getting the nicest Delta worker ever (he was a French man!) to get my camera.
Phew!

Other than that, it was really strange to walk through there. The smells of Chili's and McD's were turning my stomach, the amount of laowai was astonishing (but I'm not in China, I would think to myself) and the cleanliness of the bathrooms was amazing.

No squat toilets? What am I going to do with myself?

I made my dad take me to Cookout and had the Oreo milkshake I've been craving all summer.

I have lots of gifts to bestow and lots of sleeping to do.

I also have HP to watch.

This can't be real, I can't be here already, what happened?

McDonald's Runs:
9

Time Flies

I can't believe it's been two months since I left home.

I had no idea I'd be the person people would call if they got lost.

I didn't think I'd get to hike Huangshan or see oracle bones.

I didn't think I'd be able to understand bits and pieces of a Chinese conversation, let alone have one with a taxi driver.

And now everyone is calling me Chinese...I have assimilated. And I don't mind! The eggplant's still delicious.

Why International Dorms Rock

I really like being in an international dorm and taking classes with other international students. Not only is it interesting to hear Chinese being spoken in Spanish, Portuguese, British, Indian and Russian accents, but to be able to meet people from different places is pretty cool. I’ve meet Chris from Poland, who is the best when he’s “slightly tipsy…tipsy is a funny word…”, and Sol from Spain who is the funniest most adorable little girl I have ever met. She’s older than me though, but still, she’s adorable.
So basically, having a great time at Zheda YuQuan campus. Not to mention they have 4.5 Y eggplant. FOUR POINT FIVE YUAN.

New Adventures

So I have a bunch of characters waiting to be written but I just need to brain dump because I haven’t done that in a WHILE. Partly because Blogspot is blocked at the university, as is Facebook and all those other fun sites. It sucks.
I’m no longer staying at Ling Yin Si (Ling Yin Temple) and have moved to Zheda YuQuan Campus, a.k.a Zhejiang University’s YuQuan campus’ international dorm, and boy, things are hectic.
We got a new batch of students in for July, about 11, all girls. They’re really cool and it’s been fun showing them around. I’ve been delegated to navigator/direction person because I apparently have a good sense of direction? We’ve been going different places for dinner every night. I helped us get to night market and an Indian restaurant.
I don’t know where to start with night market. It was crazy. Getting there was half the fun (or pain). I figured out a new bus, the 900, but after I was on the bus I realized that the lack of a “K” in front of the number means it’s not air conditioned. Not to mention, most of our group of 9 had to stand because the bus was packed. Sweat was dripping all over the place. I was literally drenched, as were most of us. It was gross.
After ten stops most of us finally had seats and I could feel the grumpiness. One thing I forget is that I don’t really mind long bus rides, but other people sometimes have problems with them. The thing with big groups is that you have to find some sort of balance between everyone.
We sidled down a side street that got us to night market on Hefang Chie. Everything was the same; Chinese people trying to take pictures of us, lots of little booths with overpriced touristy goods, and fried goods. Chopsticks shops, umbrella shops, and three Indian shops (we had to go to all of them).
Next, we figured out that our “snack street” was actually a snack ALLEY and the REAL snack street was way back down the other way! We saw various things on sticks, including:
• Tarantulas
• Starfish
• Eels
• Grubs
• Sea horses
• Squids/octopi
• Crabs
Basically, it was cray cray up in thur. Two phones were lost and then found. Fried dough was eaten, and dumplings. I thought I ordered boba but received sprite. And we all got home safely.

note: it is now the next morning and boy do i regret not going to sleep earlier. argh!

Dépaysement

Dépaysement (French) is one of matadornetwork.com's 20 Untranslatable Words. They take it to mean "the feeling of not being in one's homeland."
That's what the first few weeks felt like as my jet-lagged and culture shocked self wandered the streets of China with only a few phrases under my belt (thank you, hello, goodbye). I had no idea how to navigate by using the bus system or the difference between a half kuai coin and a dime coin. Everything was so busy-people were everywhere, the streets were packed and the stares were intimidating. After time I got used to it, the rhythm of the city, the curious looks of the Chinese, and the traffic. I'm not sure what I expected, but I've discovered so much; monks on e-bikes, quiet monasteries, curious cafe baristas, and fish flavored eggplant.
And yet, Hangzhou is best in the early morning when I'm running and the only people I see are monks and tea farmers. It's really worth savoring what's left after the tumult dies down.
_____
McDonald's Runs: 6

Yu Xiang Qie Zi

Yu xiang qie zi.
I say it three times before someone understands me-I’m just glad they bring out the right dish, fish flavored eggplant. It’s really just eggplant with small pieces of pork, peppers and onions in a special sauce, which I like to eat with rice (mi fan). It’s easier to order rice than anything else.
I settle into my chair, reading River Town by Peter Hessler. The book details Hessler’s time in Fuling, China while serving in the Peace Corps. It’s interesting to read about his experiences with the staring, the language barrier and just how different everything is.
It’s been two and a half weeks, but it feels like a month. The rain has been torrential but is now familiar, I no longer cringe when rainwater hits my flip-flopped feet. I have regular haunts; the white house restaurant down the street from my apartment, the Vineyard Café in town, and McD’s for a weekly McFlurry indulgence.
Overall, China is an experience. I’m learning so much. I have 25 characters under my belt, just enough to make out one character from random business buildings around town. I know enough phrases to survive around town, I can get around on the bus, and I know my way around the lake. I’m more self-dependent, I don’t need other people to figure out my way-which is good, because asking them would be a pain.
In short, I’m loving it here so far and I hope it continues to be this sweet.

Back in Hangzhou

Went back to Hangzhou today. The bus ride back was...interesting. We got one of those awesome busses where everyone sits on the second level, so that was cool. Unfortunately, the old lady behind me was having some serious carsickness, so that kinda but a damper on the whole 270 degree view of the highway and Chinese countryside thing.
Oh well, so it goes.
I'm back in Hangzhou, chilling in "Paris Baguette", one of the many pseudo-French bakeries which hardly have any sweet pastries...but the "pizzas" and "doughnuts" are pretty tasty. The baguettes are legitimate, especially the garlic ones. The baristas (I guess?) where black and white striped shirts and berets. Cute.
I have about an hour or two before I teach.
I'm just observing the couples who are sitting nearby...there's at least 3. Is Hangzhou a city of love or something? Everywhere I turn, there are couples-you can tell because a lot of them like to match. Chinese girls have some sweet style. I want their clothes, but
1. I don't know how Chinese sizes work but I'm pretty sure I'd have to have XL everything
2. I don't know where to get these clothes for cheap.
But I will find out!
Learned more characters yesterday. :]
Also, I saw a WHOLE GROUP OF LAO WAI today in Hangzhou. It must've been a field trip for international school kids or something. By that, I mean kids who go to an international school in Shanghai
I will start counting how many times I go to McD's. It's the best place for reliable food, where I don't have to worry about ordering the wrong thing...and McFlurries are really goooood.
McDonald's Runs:
3

Chilling in Ningbo

So I'm sitting in the Zeal Education Group office in Ningbo, Zhejiang Province, China. Basically, Zeal is a company that helps Chinese high school students apply to American colleges and universities. This is a booming business in China, a country where (from what i've gathered) high school students focus on testing and analytical essay writing, so when the time comes to write personal statements or narrative essays for college applications, they're pretty lost.
It was great talking to Chinese students about the differences in Chinese and American education. One girl told me she started learning math in 1st grade. There were no breaks and students were punished for answering questions wrong. Compare this to America where I had recess until 7th grade (well, it was basically a 15 minute break but still) and where math was never the focus of my education and was rather the bane of my existence. Different, right?
Not to mention, a lot of Chinese teaching revolves around dictation and reciting facts or poems or essays. America likes to discuss things (for the most part) and have seminars and the like.
These differences interest me quite a bit.
I also enjoyed answering student's questions about American colleges and universities....a lot of them are worrying about SATs already. One parent asked me what it took to get into Amherst. I couldn't just say "Get a 2400" because that's not what it takes. I believe Amherst cares about grades, but they care more about the actual student. What does the student love? Does show what he loves through the essay?
Not to mention her daughter, who is a sophomore, had a 2100 or something ALREADY. Wow.
Look up "tiger mother" on Google for an interesting article...

tests and dictation vs. discussion, success vs. acceptance of lower standards...
Oh, and I explained SATs and SAT subject tests (in Chinese) to a room full of parents and students. ACK! Pinyin saved my life.
I apologize if I cursed anyone out by accident with my horrible American tones.



Pokemon Ice Cream. It exists.
P.S Happy Graduation, Tabor-ites. Enjoy!

Being a Laowai

One thing you'll notice as a foreigner in China (or at least in this part of China, Hangzhou) is that the Chinese like to stare. They stare at anything remotely different, interesting, or cute. And they especially like to stare at foreigners, or Laowai. The younger Chinese people will sometimes say "Hello!" as you're walking down the street, and laugh if/when you answer back. The older ones will just stare quietly and, in my experience, are less likely to smile or greet you. These aren't rude stares, they're merely curious stares that may lead to conversation about my origins (meiguoren (American), I say, pointing to myself).
It's interesting, coming from a place where so many different people live and work together to Hangzhou, where I usually don't see more than 10 foreigners in a single day of walking about, unless I head to an ex-pat cafe or bar like the vineyard.
...
You know you've been in Hangzhou for two weeks when:
-You’re still surprised everytime you see a laowai (foreigner)

-You’re used to the staring

-You’ve find your way past the Great Firewall

-If you have bad Chinese, you stick to ordering street food by pointing or going to Starbucks or McDonald’

-You know which busses take you home and which take you where you need to go (for the most part) but when someone throws a new bus into your system you can’t figure out where to catch it

-You’ve learned bartering vocabulary

Traveling Adventures and Misadventures: Impressions of Hangzhou

31/5/11 Last day of May. Still not sure if I’ll get to teach. The man at the teaching center yesterday sounded like he wanted a SAT math tutor and asked for my score. AACK. Math, especially SAT math, is my weak point.
Today: grocery store to find some snacks, maybe a plastic bowl and chopsticks for my own, shampoo/conditioner, and later tonight: maybe night market, need to find Engrish shirts! I saw one that said “Leave me alone” and I saw another grandma wearing a skull and bones shirt. It was classy too, the pattern was all skulls.
Yesterday I got around the whole south west corner of Xi Hu (West Lake) on my own! I took a taxi there, asking to go to “Nanshan Lu.” Well, I realy just said “Nanshan Lu” and just nodded when he said something else. Apparently Nanshan is really long, so I kinda said “Ok” and pointed when I wanted him to stop. I ended up stopping a bit too early, but hey, I saved some yuan! I used the map to find a café which I guess isn’t there anymore…but ended up finding another place with free wi-fi called Costa Coffee. It was kinda overpriced, but the cool mango passionfruit smoothie was worth it. The girl who worked there, Helena, talked to me for a few minutes and gave me some great tips. I love it when Chinese people are genuinely interested in where you come from and what you’re doing here.
I think I’m developing something called “Foreigner Radar” because whenever I see another foreigner I tend to stare and wonder what they’re doing here. Yesterday I saw another African American/african (!) that’s a rarity. We exchanged a wave and smile. I don’t know if there are a lot of European and American tourists in Hangzhou, I’ve only seen a few European tourists, but there are a lot of Ex-pats (ex-patriates) around who seem to be on their e-bikes (moped type things) and bicycles like the locals.
I’m surprised by the sheer amount of Chinese tourists. In our little section of town near Ling Yin Temple, tour guides pass behind our apartment every. single. morning. I wonder what they could be saying in their megaphones, holding their flags : “And here is an apartment where we have heard news of foreigners!”
The family has a little baby girl and she is SO CUTE. Everytime she sees me she does a cute little wave and I’m like “awwwwww” inside. SO CUTE. CAN I STEAL CHU? KXIEXIE. (kthx, Chinese style.)
I still haven’t had to use my phrase, “my Chinese isn’t that good”. I use my two food vocab words, “mien” which are noodles and “tang” (sp?) which is sweet. I usually depend on our more talented peers who can order for us.
Now, back for a day on the bus and traveling by foot. We walk around a lot. It tires me out, but that’s fine. I’ve gotten used to the rock hard bed, now it feels normal! Sleeping at home is gonna be mega-weird.
zaijian!

Traveling Adventures and Misadventures: Getting Settled in Hangzhou

Hangzhou (pronounced han (like the dynasty) joe (like coffee) is gorgeous. It’s supposedly the city with the most trees, and basically every street looks like Central Park. I’ve been fighting jet lag by walking everywhere, eating noodles, pork, and fish, shopping for snacks and exchanging currency. I’ve also been getting used to the Chinese tendency to stare at foreigners-sometimes I hold a private staring contest with them, or smile awkwardly.
However, not knowing Chinese, I feel both helpless and curious. Today I’ve learned the Chinese characters for yuan (the currency) and China. That’s two out of thousands. This afternoon I entered a clothing store, expecting to look around and then walk out. I ended up being swarmed by at least 5 employees who all spoke Chinese to me and told me to sit down. After the first “ni hao” I understood nothing but took the magazine they pushed into my hands and flipped through awkwardly. Three women pressured another woman to practice her English on me, and she pointed upstairs and told me “more, up.” So I followed her and looked at the expensive but nice clothing. She suggested some clothes to me and I nodded, smiling, but then pointed at my watch and then outside, saying “I have to go meet someone.” She nodded, a bit disappointed. I felt horrible but I had no money! She led me back downstairs, and I said I’d come back when I had money, making the international (I think?) sign for money. Then I said goodbye (one of the few Chinese words I know) and left. For the rest of the time, I walked awkwardly in front of other stores, avoiding that one store.
Everything is relatively cheaper here. A taxi cab ride costs no more than 5 dollars, about 30 yuan. Today I paid about 10 dollars for a surge protector, bananas, oatmeal, honey, toilet paper and Chinese orange juice, which I swear has fake pulp and tastes like Sunny D…
I’m staying on the third floor of an apartment with two other ACI fellows, and it’s an interesting experience to say the least. The apartment is located at Ling Yin Temple (look it up!). It’s a great area, kinda touristy though.The roof in my room is slanted. I painfully realized this when I was unpacking some of my clothes last night when I arrived. It has a small window that opens to the backs of more apartments. I also learned that mattresses in China are not very comfortable (excuse me if I’m making a wrong generalization). The one I slep ton last night felt like a box-I’ve decided to make a layer of clothing and blankets in order to lessen the back pain. I’m sure I’ll get used to it soon…I’ve been pampered in America! I feel like my sentences are all monotone sounding so I should Lanham-ize right about now.
I really wish we had wi-fi in the apartment because I need to look up some Chinese phrases stat. Things like “Please”, “How much?” and basic food stuff…so I don’t end up eating a whole fish again. Chinese menus are no good now-I can’t wait until July when we start learning Chinese for real!
So basically, here’s a list of things I’ve learned on my first day in China:
1. The Chinese like to stare at foreigners.
2. Mopeds are huge.
3. Noodles are yummy.
4. People like to cough, hack and spit on sidewalks.
5. Pedestrians have no rights or protection

Traveling Adventures and Misadventures: En route to Shanghai

So my traveling began yesterday (Tuesday the 24th) early, at 5 a.m. We drove over to Charlotte where i said goodbye and went on to wait for about 4 hours for my flight to JFK. I knew that I was pushing my luck with my 45 minute layover at JFK, and then there was a ceremony for a fallen soldier and my flight was delayed by 30 minutes so I thought i was screwed. Delta offered me a re-route but they never mentioned it while I was boarding so I figured I would be fine...
The flight took about 1 hour and 20 minutes. I was counting the minutes anxiously as we arrived 30 minutes before my flights departure. But THEN the jetway people were lagging and we didn't deplane until 20 minutes before departure. I don't know if you know this, but with international flights (and most other flights) you have to be on board 15 minutes before departure. Well, I got there 13 minutes before departure. As they smirked and told me "You gotta be here 15 minute before! It's gone!" I was frustrated and almost at tears. The plane was most definitely NOT gone. I went over to Gate 11 to see what Delta could give me. At first they wouldn't give me a hotel night, and I was too defeated to fight for it. I had gotten used to the idea of sleeping in the dirty, nasty Terminal 3 which I swear hasn't been renovated since the fifties when I met up with some people who had also missed the connection. They said they fought with the Delta people for 30 minutes, yelling and screaming, and Delta finally gave them a hotel room. So, heart filled with hope, I wandered back to Gate 11 and very easily got myself a room at the local Doubletree. Happily, I headed to Federal Circle to meet the shuttle (which, btw, took 45 minutes to arrive.) My head was pounding from lack of sleep and I was generally worn out.
After crashing in the hotel room from 5 to 8, I got a free dinner (yeah delta vouchers!) and then decided to stay up out of fear of missing my shuttle at 4 a.m. I drank coffee and watched Glee and Modern Family for hours, then left on the shuttle. I sat next to this ADORABLE German lady, she was tiny and old and so cute. The whole time she was saying "Half of my butt is off the chair!" and giggling in her German way. Of course, silly me heard a clang on the floor of the shuttle and didn't realize my phone had fallen from my pocket. Once I realized I didn't have it, I went after the shuttle which had just left from the terminal. I chased it for like 30 seconds, then lost it. I then went 2 terminals over to call Doubletree to ask if I could pick up my phone, and they said the shuttle would be back in 15 minutes LIES. I waited for 45 minutes, no shuttle. So whatevs, maybe I'll convince my mom to get an iPhone, or maybe I'll find an iPhone for cheap in China?
After that ordeal I boarded my flight to Detroit, sitting next to a smelly, quiet Kazakhstan(i?) girl. She had just run through the airport to catch the flight, I could tell. Finally, I'm here in Detroit, awaiting my 3:30 boarding time for China, mellow, tired, but happy. I can't wait to get on that plane.
So here is my last blogpost from the states, for 2 months! Hope you enjoyed (for my 2 readers). And if you want to keep up with me, (I'm not sure if blogspot will be accessible) please read my xanga.

china on tuesday.

I'm kinda crazy excited slash worried about missing my flight in JFK because i have a 45 minute connection slash wondering where i'm going to live slash really crazy excited.
check out my collab channel (if i can call it that?)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qslljKf_jks&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

Airport Incidents (1)

I just had an interesting encounter with an airport worker.
I was on my laptop, on reddit, per usual, and I noticed that he was kinda hovering so I looked up and he was like
"Oh hi, I just wanted to say hi."
And I was like..."Hi?" And then he shook my hand and I was confused. And then he asked
me if I was a college student and where I went to college and what my name was, all very quickly. I felt like I was on one of those weird news things where you hear about the person being killed or something-I was probably overreacting. But anyways, it was strange. And then he gave me another bro-handshake and said "have a nice day" and I kinda mumbled something unintelligibly as he walked off.
What what what! Maybe Dulles is just filled with overly-kind airport workers or something...
Well, 2 more hours to boarding time.


___
On another note, Things I love about airports and traveling:
1. The feeling of going somewhere, and the fact that you share this feeling with everyone else who's there.
2. The random assortment of cultures and races-hearing Spanish and Amharic in the same terminal.
3. Airport food and books
4. Waiting, creeping on facebook and reddit and blogging
5. Looking at people as they walk by
6. Hearing other peoples conversations and wondering where they're going and why
7. Looking at the huge planes and wondering where THEY are going
8. The feeling right before the plane's wheels touch the ground
9. Landing, rather than taking off
10.Arrival

Ultimate Dream

The day began before the crack of dawn at 5 a.m while i speedily put in my contacts to avoid being in the bathroom as a sick floormate was about to barf. I have a problem with barfing.
After this not-so-pleasant beginning to the day, I rushed over to Val and we promptly left for regionals, me driving a van of 6 sleeping ultimate frisbee playing college students 2 hours through Vermont to Dartmouth in New Hampshire.
Our first game with Harvard was not so good. We tied...almost very point. We tired them out eventually and got the lead for a point or two, but then they came back in the end and we lost 14-12. We shook it off, did our song-cheer for them, and went off to play Tufts.
Tufts is incredibly good. Their girls are super fast, they have great throws, and they know how to score...a lot. We went 15-2...they crushed us. But the record against Tufts was a measly 3 points so...no hard feelings.
Our third game was more frustrating-Boston University had just played a tiring game against Harvard but they came out strong. We were behind for a few points, and then came super close (only 2 points away)-however in the end BU pulled it out. However, during the second half we had really pumped up ourselves and our older teammates were playing with enthusiasm and guts. We may have lost point-wise, but we won in spirit.
My favorite part wasn't watching awesome layouts or great point blocks. My favorite part was hearing the seniors talk about why they would miss ultimate. It made me think about cherishing my time here, and my time playing ultimate. I'm going to miss the seniors, and our coach who's leaving...
However, laughing over garlic knot pizza and choosing choice music on the carride home was great fun. I'm excited for the very last frisbee event which is tomorrow...but I'm still a bit sad about the seniors.
Anyways,
I've come such a long way this year. At the beginning of the year, my throws were horrible, my cuts were disgusting and I couldn't even understand the rules. Now I'm cheering from the sideline, throwing hammers, and cutting deep, and sometimes even scoring and laying out. I'm so glad I stuck with ultimate, and I'm so so so excited for the next three years here.

identity.

It usually hasn't bothered me before, but nowadays I'm wondering what I AM.
Through high school, I just decided that I WAS and disregarded the "race" thing. I checked black when I filled out forms, and I cringed at the black jokes my friends made.
However, when I'd bring up my discomfort at these jokes, one said, "It's okay. You're not black, you're Kenyan."
I wondered why that made it ok, and why I couldn't stand up when people where being rude and derogatory. As a first generation American citizen, do I have no right to stop disrespect when I see it? Since my family hasn't been through slavery, does that make me exempt from racist remarks and racialization?
If I try untangling my identity, I send like a milk carton: 50% Kenyan, 25% Malian, 25% Mexican, but with French and American citizenship and a father who's a French native. I usually end up saying "My mom's Kenyan and my dad's French." and I save the rest for when I have time to explain it. The thing is, my dad probably identifies more with his French identity than with his Malian or Mexican one...he barely speaks Spanish but speaks French fluently, and was born and raised there. My mom is 100% Kenyan, and I look just like here, so people assume I'm African American-but I'm not EXACTLY. I guess I'm 75% African and 25% Mexican (I swear it all went to my hair...) I can't really say Kenyan-American though, that's just half of me. It's just confusing-I'm going to have to pick one thing and stick to it. I think I'll just check in the "multiracial" or "prefer not to answer" box from now on. If people don't believe me then whatever, son!
Oh, and I'm tired of the "WHATEVER YOU'RE HUMAN" stuff. I know I'm human, shoot me if I want to find out more about myself.

They say us college students overbook ourselves.

Tomorrow:
10-11. Breakfast. Read Black identities.
11-1230. Start houellbecq essay.
1230(or 1) to 4. Process, read black identities during drying, try contact sheet and maybe a print or two.
4-5. Review geo structures, redo the test thing.
5- CHILL OUT and check on prints.
6:30-??? CAO Spring concert.
???-9ish-Read/chill
10-2 Work.
Sunday:
11-12 Read BI and eat breakfast
12-4 Darkroom!
4-6 Watch movie for French/ meet for skit?
7-10 Dance rehearsal
10-12ish read more BI, GEO and chill OUT.